that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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