I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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