the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
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You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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