im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
