U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
