Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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