Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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