Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
