YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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