Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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