it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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