So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
