Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had to cum in my sink.
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