Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize