take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.