After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
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we were pretty classy up until the second keg
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.