i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner