she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?