Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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(248): View more from Michigan

Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.

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(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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(416): View more from Toronto

Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.

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(425): View more from Washington

Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET

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(530): View more from California

No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion

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