they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
