Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's like heaven, but drunker
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize