I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
