Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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