I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
