The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
