just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
