mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
