hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
