I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
