I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can feel your judgement through the phone
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
