i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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