Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
