on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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