He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
