Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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