its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
