Dual....:-)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
