So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize