She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
