LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
