you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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