It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
