Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
