The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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