Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
