Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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