thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
