just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
