We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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