I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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