Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize