it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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