; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type