Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE