I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio