It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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