You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
