quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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