sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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