i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
