All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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