Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
