her vagine was all disorganized.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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