No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
there is puke in my bra ... again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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