Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
