Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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