Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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