what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
