Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize