I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Are we still banned from the library?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
